New York Girl

I think its fair to say that out of the four of us 9/11 impacted me the most. I had just moved back from New York six weeks prior, not to mention the last time I entered the subway while calling New York my home was through the World Trade Centre. So needless to say I was aware of the building and the city. That day- rather that moment I was in my grade four classroom doing an assignment, we needed to practice writing letters, my teacher said we could write who ever we wanted real or fictional I chose to write my New York friend. I remember sitting there writing her all about my new school, what it was like to be back in Toronto, blah blah blah when my teacher returned from the bathroom and turned on the random TV in our class to the only cable channel it could pick up. I sat there to see the now iconic images, and if my memory is correct this was prior to the second one being hit. At that moment I remember (the only full sentence I remember writing in the letter ) "did you see what happened to the Twin Towers?" At nine years old I obviously not understanding that this was no accident, until further discussions of total fear with my parents. I do remember being in the back of the car asking why and they couldn't answer and just being so scared. That evening I called all of my old friends to make sure they and their parents were all right and luckily everyone was. I have a family friend who worked across the street from the towers and ran the second he saw the first plane crash, luckily he's alive today but lost many of his coworkers. Following 9/11 I had nightmares for a month ( I and everyone I knew would be running from the falling debris) and had to miss a few days of school because of mental break downs. Like Rae mentioned I set up that my class and my friends class would exchange letters, I knew that we needed to show them people still love them and the world isn't that horrible. My brother's birthday is September 12 (he just turned 16) and I remember how hard it was for me to be happy and celebrate his birthday after I had witnessed true evil. All of these things make up my 9/11 story and to be honest it still haunts me.

10 years later every anniversary I remember my dreams and where I was and I can still feel that fear. I remember the summer after my family and I went back to New York and we walked briskly past ground zero on our way to something else, the smell of smoke and debris still in the air, a smell I still remember. I don't remember if I mentioned this to any of you, but when we went to New York in May it was the first time I had been near Ground Zero since the summer of 2002. We were walking to a store and I behind my shades was fighting back tears, just thinking of that day and its horror.

If anything at that moment in my life I felt like a New Yorker, New York was where I came from, I was the New York girl, and so 9/11 I felt attacked even though I wasn't in New York. My Dad tells me the city and its vibe changed from before 9/11 and after, but I don't really remember that. I do know that we noticed right away the amount of security and posters talking about being vigilant. But I want to mention something that did change that I hear about all the time. People uniting. If anything 9/11 united people from many backgrounds, though not for good reason, it shows we can all be a united front and stop fighting amongst ourselves. Don't be scared of what you don't know or understand learn from it, you have nothing to loose but rather gain. Its how I honor those of 9/11 and fight back against the hate portrayed that day, just accepting people for who they are and loving them for it. Because really love is what conquers all.

Miah