Hello?

Hello?

Sari? Lee?( OK Lee, for the record when I started you hadn't posted yet...)

Anyways.

Hey Guys!

I've been feeling awesome as of late. Well kinda still in a bit of a funk but hopefully I'll be able to vent to some peeps soon about said funk. But I mean I do feel better since our Halloween party last Friday. I really did miss hanging out with friends. Oh and I dressed up as Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma, everyone but one person thought it was funny so I say-- costume success!

So this week I finally went back to school after missing two weeks straight (keep in mind my classes are only Monday and Tuesday) and I must admit i felt really anxious ahead of time. Not because I was worried about what my teachers would say but because I was so behind, even though for a good reason. Side note. OMG really raining and heads starting to really hurt. OK side note over. What I struggle with the most about having cancer is dealing with body and mind coordination. What I mean by that can be seen in my falling 2 weeks behind in school, mentally I'm there and ready to do all of my homework on time. But physically, I just can't do that. I've spent a lot of my time on the couch, not because I'm lazy but because physically its even hard to sit at my computer and go on Facebook or something. But with the passing of chemo brings energy increase!!!

Like today, I went shopping at a fairly large mall. In the past I would need to sit down every few sections or so, sometimes I and a family member would just sit in a central location while others ran errands. But today I did the whole thing only to sit down to try on shoes, which after about 5 pairs I didn't purchase any though I have decided on which to buy. But I am really proud of my self for well shopping today, because I've had some really scary moments but today reminded me that I am getting better.

OK so I don't know how to segway into this, but I'm going to write it anyway. On Monday I am two weeks behind my classmates, though like I said for good reason. Now in this class each week we present our work and get critiqued. And well I had nothing to show other then sketches which I didn't put up because well you only put up finished pieces (though for this project its two weeks of roughs.) Anyway my teacher did a one on one session and started with me because frankly I need it most at the moment. Then after we talk, my teacher moves around the room and I begin the work, a guy gets up and obviously ( though attempting to be subtle about it-- OK maybe obvious to me) tries to see what I'm doing. And well its none of his business why I'm two weeks behind! Also I handed in an assignment on Monday that was due three weeks ago, but since I was meant to work on it during a chemo week I got an extension. Anyway the guy as I was talking to my teacher after class picked up my assignment to look at it!!! I dunno, it bothers me but not too much.

Final thing, yesterday I realized that I have no crushes. Like I normally seem to be crushing on someone, but for the first time in a long time I'm actually crushless. Which to be honest feels really good, and I guess part of why I've been feeling so great lately. In a weird way not crushing on anyone makes me feel somewhat stronger. I dunno.

OK off to do a bit more homework before bed.

Miah