So here's the basic simple sitch, my mass decided to be too large for radiation to begin so tomorrow I'm going to my first of two bonus chemo's! Can you just feel my happiness and excitement bouncing off the page? Because of this, all of my cancer crap won't finish until late January/early-mid February.
So yeah, when I got the call that instead of starting radiation this Friday I'd be having chemo tomorrow. I got real depressed, angry, upset, disappointed, and pissed. It honestly felt that I got a call telling me I have cancer (which yes I know I already do), that's how scared and miserable I felt. I really just didn't want to talk to anyone, not even my parents and brother. There's times that I feel like I need to talk to a peer of mine, someone who gets exactly the hell I'm going through. But the thing is, I just need to remind myself why and what I'm living for. I need to laugh really hard and smile, and I eventually do pick myself up. Which I did by Sunday, though I am in a little bit of a funk, I do realize if I don't do these bonus two rounds I won't get better. I have this "just do it and get it over with" attitude to all of this, just crossing things off my list.
In similar news, my Dad bought me the Ella Enchanted soundtrack off iTunes, because its the only way I can own songs that Anne Hathaway songs (you can't buy singles with this album.) Which I am currently listening too. This inspired me to add Ella Enchanted to my digital collection of films which consists of Harry Potter's 1-6, Princess Diaries 1&2, and Little Manhattan ( a great movie that you should all see!) so my iTunes thinks I'm a 12 year old girl basically. I like to buy 1 movie or book onto my iPad before chemo, so Ella was the movie.
In other but more similar news, I had to do an assignment where I needed to make a video basically spreading awareness. So I slightly took the easy wrought and did Young Adult Cancer. This project was the final project of the class, and was meant to be done in groups. My teacher at the beginning of the year allowed me to choose between group or solo, and since groups would be too much pressure I went with solo. So here's all of the stories. 1. They were comical and EVERYONE was laughing. 2. My class usually ignores presentations, but everyone was paying attention to mine. The irony of this is my videos were about treating cancer patients the same way (with a little help,) and if it were a different situation I don't think they would have paid that much attention. (SIDE NOTE: Anne Hathaway's Somebody to Love just came on, this was how I was introduced to the song so I always think of her when I hear it. This is making me happy!) 3. I did three video's because 1 just didn't feel like enough since they were 2+ minuets each. Most groups did a video and a series of posters.The group right after me only did one 2+ minuet video. And well looked real bad going after me. Like really bad. Especially because (even though they said the video took 2 days to film) it could have been filmed in an hour and edited in 30 minuets. All they did was speed up some footage and add text and music. Needless to say I felt really good after this. Ma, S,L, E you guys can check them out on my Facebook page. Oh and 4. My teacher said I was a good actor for the content... I strong disagree.
OK gotta go to bed. Even though my drugs make me sleep all day so it really doesn't matter.
Miah
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