OK, so I just wrote a 1600 word essay, and am not really up for typing but I shall anyways. Because for the actual day bit I don't see my self having time to breath let alone blog. OK. Lets do this!
9 DAYS!!!
So my life, kinda crap at the moment won't go into full details but its just I'm at my annual "who the hell am I" and "what the hell am I doing studying art?" phase of the year. It's an annual thing that happens around stressful times of the year, usually in November and I'm very emotional. (BTW because I just wrote a 1600 word essay, this will be very jumbley I am so sorry but my brain is now mushy mush.)
So yeah Harry Potter excitement is brewing inside me! (ha see what I did there brewing?!!!? eh- eh?)
OK, the part I am the most looking forward to is the 7 Potters scene (which by accident I saw a preview of... it was late at night and I was just clicking.) it was the scene that when reading the book I was like I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THIS TO BE IN THE MOVIE. Also I'm excited for the Weasley wedding cause finally we'll see Bill and Charlie!
As far as my what would... one sec gonna check what I wrote.
OK back!
Anyways So my other question was what socially would I feel weird about, specifically in a guy. Well we all know that I am on the fence about dating a non-Jew. And its not cause I'm racist like Lee said, and to contrary belief not because of Religious reason... OK well maybe... See I've been thinking about it more and I realized that the nice Jewish boy, yes is something people tell me to look for. But, its also something I want. Cause well, weird cause I'm 18 and though legally old enough to marry definitely not mentally stable to marry. (Sorry again for the jumbleyness.) But I can't help but think of dating as a step towards marriage, it may be because I'm an old sole, something people tell me often. But yeah, the idea of my future kids not being circumcised/ named, being forced to attend Hebrew school, Bar/Bat Mitzvahed or even celebrating Christmas and Easter just isn't something I can wrap my head around. I guess its cause its the way I've grown up, and now that my cousins are having kids its slightly what my mind wanders too.
OMG I just clued into why the whole dating to marry thing. About... lets say 3 years ago my grand mother (the one who passed away in April, who's unveiling I went to this past weekend which contributed to my sucky mood) started bugging me about marriage. Here's the thing though, I'm number 4 of 8 grand children on that side. The eldest being a girl, two boys then me followed by two girls, my brother and then another girl. OK? Well for some reason my grandmother nagged me about getting married, I was 15/16! I asked my eldest cousin if she was getting the same, and she said yes... within months though she was engaged an married. But for some reason my two boy cousins weren't getting bugged and neither were any of the other girls! Later I learned the reason, my grandmother had this little blue prayer book that only the girls are allowed to use on our weddings, and because I'm next she turned to me. Also I think it was last year, but my other grandmother turned to me and said I have a 5 year wedding limit because she doesn't think she'll be around any time after her-- doing the math-- 90th birthday. (Oh for the purpose of this story I guess I should mention that I'm the eldest of 4.) Basically she tried to persuade me into marrying by the age of 23, we negotiated a minimum of 24. I guess my ideas of marrying a Jewish boy stem from, well my Jewish grandmothers both whom lead very strong Jewish lives. While Religiously not at the same level, but in teaching me how to live my Jewish life and not be ashamed or embarrassed by my identity. And well my grandparents (oh shit here comet the tears, told you I am so emotional lately!) are/were the most important people in my life, they are who I see my self in the most, even more then my parents. From my Mémé I get my love for culture, from my Pépé I get my artist abilities, from my late Zadie I get my quiet wisdom, and from my late Bubie I get my stubbornness and will. So, I guess that really dating/ marrying a Jewish boy is something I want to do for my grand parents, but I know that they'll still love me either way.
Ok, so now instead of crying at the computer I'll go cry myself to sleep.
Miah
RIP Bubie and Zadie, I miss you so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment