What A Year

I've been watching way to much television as of late, and not even good television. But its kinda the only thing I can do right now, going for a few hours out exausts me... Even showering as of late is something I'm having a hard time doing. Like today I was planning on just getting my bangs cut, but showering tired me so much that I had to get my hair washed by my hairdresser too. Anyway enough about my issues.
I can't believe its been a year! And what a year I've had. I had a fantastic summer, and especially at camp (uch camp, gonna miss it) I felt so confident and comfortable with everything that was going on in my life. I started at the University of my dreams, nearly killed myself the first semester and well lost a lot of confidence in my ablities in design and art. But by January I had to remind myself that design is my life, that creating things visually how ever I want is what I breath and live for. Went through a lot of depressing moments missing my grandmother in February, not to mention dealing with the changed dynamic of my extended family. I finished my first year of Uni, which is amazing. Especially if you know the stress and drop out rate that my program has, like one teacher said its all about survival not grades at my school. I lived so many dreams, meeting Daniel Radcliffe and traveling to New York by myself (ie with out family) were probably the biggest ones of the year. And then... crash boom bang! Cancer, which... well we shall see how it goes.
Sorry I had to pee.
Anyway what I look forward to in the future is living more of my dreams. Getting married, having kids (whether or not bilogical), traveling all over Europe, Israel, and Australia. Most important to me really is being a mom one day, its something I've always wanted. I dunno maybe its because there has rarely been a year in my life where a baby wasn't being born, so maybe its just my surroundings. People have told me I have a very motherly attitude and I do love kids so its something that I do constantly dream of. Idealistcially there'd be a husband to in that picture of a family, but as of now my life is out of order, so if it doesn't happen "normally" (what ever that means) I guess that'd be fine. On that note I've realized my "Hi I'm Miah and I had cancer when I was 19, and oh I might not be able to have kids" line is a really good tester of men. Like if they freak obviously they're not right at all. Really though for my future I want to live as many dreams as possible. But if there's one thing I've learned dreams need to be made. You can't just hope for your dreams to come true, you've got to make them happen.
Ok. I'm tired now... blogging can do that to a person.
Here's to another year!
Miah
P.S. 23 DAYS!!! OMG!