I totally forgot it was the end of the summer

I have to say, I think this is the weirdest this summer has felt. Reading the last three posts from my friends and realizing, you guys all have something to do now, or somewhere to go. For me the end of the summer meant a change in lifestyle because of school. No more staying up till ridiculous hours in the morning, sleeping in the next day, eating whenever I felt like it and other awesome summer stuff. But this year...I mean I still don't have a job (not that I've been looking) so I'm just sort of...coasting. I've got nowhere to go, nothing to do. And on the one hand you know, "Woo hoo! Nothing to do but laze around the house all day!!" but the truth is I actually am getting bored of it. And it feels like shit if I haven't left the house all day. What sucks the most is not being able to sleep at night because I haven't had any exercise all day so I just lay there with a million thoughts flitting around my head and I'm all "leaf me alone!". They practically attack me sometimes. I'll be drifting off and then I'll remember something that upsets me and I wake up again. I'm well aware that it makes me sound like a cRazY person.
Anyhow, I've been thinking that maybe I should marry a farmer. That way I'd have something to do all day (chores like milking the cows :P, feeding chickens, working the fields or whatever) and I would definitely get some exercise (especially if I had some hot farmer hubby ;D). Also, an added bonus, there would be no homework! And besides, I like working with my hands. I feel like a farmer's life is less judgmental than the one I live; big-city and all that. Then again maybe I'm just romanticizing it, which is very possible. All I know is, I don't like to sit around the house all day not even going outside. And I know I DO like to get exercise, even if it's just going for a walk or like playing tennis with my mom. And yet I know that staying inside is EXACTLY what I'm gonna end up doing like all of this year. Sad isn't it?
I have plans you know. I have lots of plans, lots of AMBITIOUS plans. My dream for this year would be to get a job I don't hate, meet some AWEsome people there, befriend them, then spend the year hanging out with new friends, old friends and going to visit a bunch of people at university. All the while learning more about uhh...well, life I guess and (miraculously perhaps) gaining some serious self-confidence. I need it. I NEED it. *Sigh. I know it's only a dream but doesn't it sound wonderful? Oh yes! I almost forgot, there is also the possibility of traveling around the world a bit with my sister. There. Now THAT sounds wonderful. :D
If I'm thinking honestly and realistically though, I feel like this year is just a big, empty, black void. And I am hopelessly scrambling to fill it with something, anything that will make me happy.
I will now launch my thoughts into cyberspace...OooOOoooo sounds creepy eh?
Evie